C.P

Today Izaiah had a doctors appointment. for his 9 month check up and to discuss some problems that we were having with him. His therapist was a little concerned because he still can not sit on his own and he thrusts his body every time he tries. We just needed to express this to his doctor and make sure everything was ok. I was not prepared for the results. Izaiah has Cerebral Palsy. Now that i know, it is so obvious when you look at him. How did i not know? In the back of my mind, I always thought there was something not quite right, but there was always an excuse for my worries. He is behind on his development. He barely started holding his head up all the way and he can not sit up by himself. Everyone chalked it up to prematurity. He has had these weird indentations on his legs ever since he was born and he could never straighten his legs all the way. i brought my concerns up to numerous doctors and they all said not to worry his muscles were just fused to his bone but he shouldn't have any problems with it. The body thrusting was a new development within the last couple of weeks. This is what drew some red flags. We have an appointment. with his therapist on Thursday to find out what type of new therapy he will have to do, but the doctor told us some things that we will need to do. Along with continual muscle stretches and massage, we have to lay him on his belly and let him try and work his upper body muscles. The hard thing about this is he screams bloody murder when he does it. He has no upper body strength and so this position is very difficult and stressful for him. The only was for him to acquire the strength is to just let him cry and work his muscles. It is so hard for me to sit and listen to my baby scream! I feel so helpless. I know that Zai is going to fight through this disease like he has fought through everything else, but I can't help being sad and angry. I love my son so much and my heart breaks every time I hear him cry. I know he is in pain and he is so tired, but there is not one thing I can do but sit back and watch. He is such an amazing child, and I know this will only make him stronger, but i would give anything to take this away.