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As you know, Izaiah was scheduled for surgery tomorrow. Unfortunately he will not be able to have that done because he is very ill. When Christopher and I arrived to the hospital on Saturday, he didn't look like himself. He was crying a lot, not eating and throwing up. I had an uneasy feeling, but after talking to the nurse placed my worries to the back of my mind and chalked it up to reflux. Late that night, the doctor called me and told me he had gotten progressively worse and they needed to take blood and give him a spinal tap to figure out what was wrong. The next day we were told he had some sort of infection because his white blood cell count was very elevated as well as his inflammation count. He was put back on oxygen, given two IVs to start three antibiotics and his feedings were stopped. They acted as if they were not too concerned about it and he would be better in a couple of days. A couple of days passed and he was still sick and his count wasn't going down. I finally was able to speak with the nurse practitioner and she nonchalantly mentioned to me that he had E Coli. E COLI!! My first thought was how the hell does an infant in the ICU contract E Coli? Then I thought. why wasn't I told about this the moment they found out? Did they not want to raise any questions? Did they know they were at fault? I kind of freaked out and asked the obvious question and here was her response... "Sometimes, when you change a baby's diaper, some of the stool can get up through the urethra and can cause E Coli." I sat in silence for a moment and asked myself, "Did she really just say that?" My son has an ostimy bag!! There is no stool in his diaper to get to his urethra to cause the infection! I explained this to her and she had nothing to say! I asked several nurses that work at Primary Children's and they told me they have never heard of a baby contracting E Coli in the ICU. My son has E Coli. What happened? Were the nurses hands not washed? Was his ostimy bag not changed when it was suppose to be? What happened? Izaiah is very ill! Not only is he in pain, but he is that much further away from coming home. Could it have been prevented? I am 3 hours away, and have no idea if my son is being taken care of. Is he being neglected? He is at the best children's hospital, but has something like this happen to him. What do I do? I have to stay here and work so they don't take away my insurance, but my son needs me! I need piece of mind that he is being cared for when I am not there, but how do I get that when something like this happens? What do I do? How do I live with myself, as a mother, knowing my son hurting and there is nothing I can do?